UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
