Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
