I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
