Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
