Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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