Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
