What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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