update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
