i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize