All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
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I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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