mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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