That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
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we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
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I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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