Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
