The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
