She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
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