I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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