My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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