You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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