there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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