Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
