Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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