i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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