I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
