Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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