moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
