lets start a swedish sibling band together
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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