DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
