god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
There was a lot of him and a little penis
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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