Plan B is the new Plan A
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
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