You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i have two assholes
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
