I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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