I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
