Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
