I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
