Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
