I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Randomize
