just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
