he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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