maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
