He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
