Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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