So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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