...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
