3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
