Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Randomize
