sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
