and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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