I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
