Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So vagazzling was a success
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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