Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
