Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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