But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize