i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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