If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
