PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
