if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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