bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
