i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Randomize