so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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