he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
