Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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