I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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