I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
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Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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