operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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