I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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