Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
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