My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
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