I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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