you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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