How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
