what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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