We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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