I wanna passion pit in your ass
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
